Actually, I’m probs just gonna write a brief note here, being as it’s 11:50 PM, and my brain is, as usual, fried — not due to the ingesting of any mind-benders, just…well…that’s the way those neurons are. But then you’d already know that, studying neuro at Harvard ‘n all.
That is so, like, t-o-t-a-l-l-y wild that you’re in Laos. I’m afraid that now you’ve stretched out of my realm of experience, and are creating newly-hallowed grounds for da family. And hence for once, I don’t know how you feel — must be totally awesome (you know, like, t-o-t-a-l-l-y awesome).
I gotta address yr ‘epiphany’ question (if u remember yr postcard wordz) — but honey, you know what I’m gonna say, right?
That you can’t seek said epiphany, just as you can’t seek happiness or love or even a $100 bill lying forgotten on the street. (Well, I guess you CAN seek it, but IMHO — and the opinion of countless others — you’ll be burning up valuable time and emotions instead of living yr life).
(You KNEW I was gonna say that, right?)
For moi, I’ve never had anything remotely close to an epiphany; stuff just comes to you second by second, mo’ by mo’, and it just becomes absorbed into the person that is ‘you,’ and you grow from it, and change ever-so-slightly from whatever it is that happens, be it a Laotian horking on the street, or a heart-warming interaction with the horker or other individual, or causing a dude riding his rickety ol’ bike to swerve to avoid you. And then…there they are, embedded somewhere deep in yr (Harvardian) neuronic web, only to be overlaid with yet other apparently mundane experiences.
You catch my drift?
These build upon each other, not resulting in some blinding light (aka epiphany), but rather in your (and my) evolution as a person. At “best,” I could say that things will start to congeal once you return to the relative mundane-ness of Ocean Park.
i.e., as always, ‘mir…just let it come to you — for sure, put yourself in a position where things will happen, however mundane, and realize that the rest of the world is moving about its business, mostly uncaring of you (and you of them), and you have NO control over what happens after. But things will happen, and it’s up to you to experience them. Without effort.
Realize: you’ll be home in a few short weeks (I’m sad that that is true — you know why, hum?), and… do you REALLY wanna come home and think, ‘Oh, I wish this and wish that.’ What happens happens (he said, Zen-like, absorbed in the flow of the moment, sometimes paying attention to the click-click of keyboard keys, mostly not).
Of course, you will have regrets — but please, dahhhling, don’t let one of them be, ‘Oh, I wish I had been more open, and just lived life moment-by-moment.’
(Even after reading these words, you might feel like rushing out the door — or whatever passes as a barrier between you n the rest of the world in that unknown-to-me turf. Don’t. Just keep living your day, your night, and allow yourself to BE.)
omg…. here I am, that self-professed ‘never give advice’ person, doing precisely the opposite. Well…as always, pick ‘n’ choose from these pearls whatever feels right for you.
And… enjoy. No, that’s not right. I mean, just be present in yourself and flow with the go. Trite, I know — but if there’s a better way, I ain’t not got no idea what it is (or isn’t).
Whew! So much for my “few” words. And to think…I ain’t said nuffin’ new.
I guess: Eat, Pray, Love. Yup, that should do it.
‘Mirdani… I’m incredibly proud of you (if that’s the right word) for your moving through these perilous waters.
I remember (do you?) saying that if things turned out too sketchy in SE Asia, you’d return to Indonesia. I don’t pick up the slightest trace of you feeling that way — you just moving forward, babe.
Just some words I want to share with the world from my papacito. Helps me get through each day when I’m on the road alone and appreciate the beauties of travelling.